Gassy Steam Rooms

Imagine a rather chilly february night in the shadows of the everlasting hills. You and your fiance stroll into a Gold's gym and take in the mixture of body oder, cologne, and the latest Ed Hardy gear. It's always so refreshing to get back to the used car dealer of the gym world.

There I was, smack in the middle of one of my least favorite places to spend my free time. (Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the gym as much as the next guy. I spend a few days a week at one, in fact. Gold's Gym is not one I generally willing go to.) Having just muscled through the workout at SLC Crossfit I wasn't exactly motivated to do much. Kendra and I had actually gone there with the intent of sitting in the steam room. It has become something of a tradition of ours. After Kendra had spent some time running and doing some of her usual exercises we meandered back to the steam room.

The glass door swings open and steam rushes out of the tiled trimmed room and we make our way through the cloud back to the bench. Finding our spot in the corner we sit. There wasn't much for company this time around. We got comfortable as the last remaining person in the room found there way to the door and then out. Shortly there after a pocket sized Asian women came walking through the door sporting her one-piece suit. She fell into the spot just to my left and kicked her feet up on the bench toward me. Kendra and I continued on in our usual small talk when the most comical event of the night took place. The little Asian grandma let out a belch that would put most teenage boys to shame. Writing it now I grin and laugh a little as I picture that tiny black figure filling her corner of the room with her latest dinner's smell. It must have been good. She just carried on with her business - stretching, wiggling her toes and whispering the unknown through the mist. It made my rather reluctant trip to Gold's Gym that night worth all the pain of being there. I would have hugged her, but that would be weird.

Shortly after her gassy contribution to our steam room experience she stood up and flip-flopped across the tile floor, through the door and out of my life forever. Gassy lady, I bid you adieu.

Kendra and I pulled ourselves together and dripped our way out to my car in the parking lot. Certain to return to Gold's Gym for what will hopefully be another entertaining experience in the steam room.